in love I trust

by walterdoege

I would write ‘I don’t believe in love’…love is not a matter of belief…close to surrender…after a serendipitous, randomly, by chance meeting…romantic meeting…may be…after the body to body touch…after this narcisistic meeting…if you remeber me…if I miss you…me and you are not only objects, not only source of pleasure…so good pleasure…but subjects, individuals, persons, common people…the responsibility…the response to this random meeting is a sentimental building and reinvention, a mutual building and reinvention of that meeting…I say, love…I say better, loving, I mean, the movement, the free amorous sentimental movement…the mutual action…that I trust…as a human hard work, but joyful work…as lovers, we so love…as if after the random meeting we want to keep on walking along…and any loving word I spell….any loving talk I speak…any loving word I listen from you…any loving word is a step against chance, destiny, casuality,beliefs…any loving action, care, presence, support…carry me close to you…sweet and beautiful woman…sweet and lovely people…and any letter I send to you…any letter I receice from you…is a big step against numb, frustration, privation, destiny, chance…and loving relationship is a true revolution…any time lovers must do love…as loving relation seems a yield…a gift…and loving is a gift, a blessing gift that requires care, work…reinvention of the past meeting…the random meeting…the meeting that I was not looking for…nor you…loving is our work and building after the by chance meeting…an inner work…and outer work…and so, our work is a loving relationship…romantic and non romantic…in the meaning of loving as something far away from concepts and beliefs…what we do with our meeting can turn it a blessing meeting…a loving surrender…and any poem I write…or you write…or say…or imagine…any gently  touch…or expression…any word is a step against destiny, chance and casuality…meeting is casual…loving relationship is the response to this unexpected even desired event…so, love is not the event, but our responsible work upon it…so, I don’t believe in love…strictly…I feel love…I feel the building sentiment…loving is always joyful…and even if love goes by, I keep on loving, no matter where loving lead me…any loving word is a step against empty words…and I can say ‘I am in love with you’….ringing loudly and in celebration…rather than I love you…as a writer this work and weaving with words is a task against the empty silence…the fear…the guilt…the disbeliefs…the frustration…I hold on the loving road…even if love goes by itself…perhaps I should write ‘I don’t believe in love’, ‘but I am in love with you cause I feel this way’…I keep on trust, confidence and mutual confidence is another fragrance of loving…as joy…as remembrances of days that not gone by still…I am not a poet…perhaps a little poetic…romancist, like myself…that does not point out what if fiction and non fiction…non fiction is of no interest for me…the art of loving is the art of building the ground for lovely people awake from all the illusions…art, cause is not science, a shared belief…but art, a shared feeling…I want to write something about the semantic of loving in this so called techno scientific edge…oh!, I am not modern…modernism is another illusion, dangerous illusion, as the dangerous cities…loving protects…loving is a shelter…loving is a home inside ourselves…loving is disillusionment of all iluusions and beliefs…I don’t care to where loving you leads me…it is of no importance…if loving has a begin, I can not see the end…my endless love, my countless daily trials